Setbacks

It has been a rough day for both myself and Nick. Last night Nick started having de-sats. Basically, his heart rate would drop, and his oxygen level would drop. They went up twice on his pressures on the vent today, and that seems to have stabilized him. He hasn't had any episodes since they went up on the pressure this morning.

The doctors were expecting this setback, and it is something that happens often. Basically, his lungs are just premature. They explained that this happens in a lot of premature babies, and they are on top of it. That doesn't make it any less upsetting for me to watch, or hear about. I sat with him for a good part of the late morning. His breathing seemed much more labored than it has in the past few days. He is still breathing somewhat on his own, with the vent there to support him. His nurse said he is doing okay, not good, but not bad. So for now, I choose the think of that as good.

We knew that there would be days like this, but really there isn't anything you can do to prepare yourself for it. It is so hard to watch him knowing there is nothing in the world you can do for him, except tell him I love him. I guess that is a lesson in parenthood that I am learning early on. I desperately want to make it better, but I know that at this point, the only thing I can do is pray. I have done that a lot today.

Today was my appointment with my regular ob/gyn. She was to remove my staples. So far, I am healing nicely. When she saw my incision, she said, "Wow, you did have an emergency c-section." Not really sure what that means... I asked her if my incision was healing nicely, and how much scaring there would be. She said to consider it my battle wound. Thanks! I did have my staples removed with minimal pain. She is still trying to find out the results of pathology on the placenta. We may never know exactly what went wrong, but they are trying to find out so that we have smaller risks of this happening again in the future. Right now, they are pretty sure it was a problem with the placenta, and not with Nick. So that is good. We were worried about possible genetic problems with him that would have caused all the problems while he was inutero, but that seems to not be the case, so that is good as well.

So, for now, I am resting, or at least trying to. I just spoke with Nick's nurse and there have been no changes this afternoon. I am happy to not have any changes for now. Please keep Nick in your prayers, he will need them over the next few days.