Single Parent

A friend recently told me how much she admired me for being a single mom and the job that I do with Nick. It has taken me a while to admit to myself that yeah, I am a single mom. Have been the whole time. I haven't really talked about being a single mom, because I never really thought about it much. I don't say this to slight those other single mom's out there. It is a HARD job! I will never take that away from anyone. Being a parent is a hard job.

I guess I never thought much about it, because, I have been alone since before Nick came home, so it has always been he and I. I can only imagine how much harder it would be if you were used to co-parenting and then suddenly it is just you.

Not to go into too much detail, but sadly my husband made some bad decisions in his life and about our marriage. Even worse, he made them at the worst possible time. When Nick was 3 weeks old, and still in the hospital, he came to me, confessed and affair and left. To say that I was taken aback would be the understatement of the year. It was the most difficult part of my life. Nick pulled me through. Concentrating on his health, well being, traveling to and from the hospital every day helped in ways that I can't begin to explain.

I tell this story, partly as a catharsis for myself. To get the truth out, and feel okay with it. The whole ordeal was painful and at times hard to talk about.

Again, it is hard to be a single parent. There is no one to turn to when you are busy and your child is crying or getting into something. There are no extra hands, there is no one to turn to when he gets up in the middle of the night.

But I am okay with all of that, because there is no one to share the smiles with, the hugs, and the laughter. I get the privilege of the first smile almost every morning. I didn't miss the first crawl, walk, or word. I know he loves to have "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" sung to him. Then he says in a quiet little voice "row, row, row".

I get so many special moments with my man. And that is something I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

Another one of those fantastic "moments". Sitting in the car the other day (by the way- check out the new "big boy seat!!") He picks a cell phone says "Hello, OK, Bye" Maybe I should pay attention to what I say on the phone...